LET'S TOSS FOR IT

Not half as interesting as the title suggests - patrons return this book with a slightly disappointed air about them, as if they were expecting something a little racier.

Evelyn Everett Green was an English novelist who started career writing improving and pious stories for children. She later wrote historical fiction for older girls, and then adult romantic fiction. At first glance one rather hoped that this tome fell into one of these latter categories, but alas, upon closer inspection it appears to be about gambling or something.

Oh, well.

WHAT CHRISTMAS IS ALL ABOUT

What with Christmas coming up, who wouldn't have wanted to find one of these under the tree come Christmas morning? (And who, indeed, wasn't lucky enough to find one of these under the tree?). It's what Christmas was all about.

That being said, I notice many of these annuals are dated 1979 - I think this may have been the last year that I did, in fact, find such a comic-based treat beneath the tree.

Happy Christmas everyone! 

THE LADY PENELOPE ANNUAL 1966

Isn’t this just fab? Or should that be F.A.B.? (Hint: Yes, it should, and how clever of me to have thought it.) For years I wondered what F.A.B. stood for when the characters of Thunderbirds used it as an all-purpose sign-off to their transmissions. Today, just now in fact, I decided to find out and this is what I’ve learnt:  Series creator Gerry Anderson was often asked what F. A. B. stood for, but it turns out, rather disappointingly, that it simply stood for fab (short for fabulous), a 1960s catchphrase that Anderson liked the sound of. He might equally have assigned the phrase G.R.O.O.V.Y. or G.E.A.R. which, admittedly, don’t have quite the same ring to them.  Later this was unofficially decided to mean Fully Advised and Briefed (which is brilliant, let’s face it – I would never have come up with that one) following on from P-W-O-R (Proceeding With Orders Received), a similar radio confirmation code in the series Stingray. In fact, he didn’t really hit his stride until his next series, Captain Scarlet and the Mysterons, where characters would conclude terse communications with S.I.G. (Spectrum is Green). I’m surely not the only one to remember this stuff, right?

Anyway, this marvellous album was produced in 1966 when I was 1. Going’s on within include The Perils of Parkers, Marina – Rescue in Titanica,  and adventures with The Space Family Robinson and the Man From U.N.C.L.E. (these days everyone knows, but for years I used to win big points in Trivial Pursuit for knowing what U.N.C.L.E. stood for), as well as features on Boutiques-A-Go-Go, Décor For Dollies, The Walker Brothers (that Scott is dreamy and yet at the same time just so existential) and probing articles that asked:  Are You ‘In’ On The Beauty Scene?

Worth 10/6d of anyone’s money.

THE DAY AMANDA CAME

Another one of those books that the patron returns with a slight air of disappointment about them, as if they were expecting something entirely different. 

Written in 1971 by T.C. Reeves, I should stress that this is a delightful children's story about a new girl who moves into the neighbourhood - adventures of an altogether innocent nature ensue, not necessarily of an ice-cream related nature.

(sigh)

THE MANDY ANNUAL 1973

If you were a young girl in the 1970s and you hung around long enough, then the chances are you would have a weekly comic named after you. Just look at the following list and you’ll see what I mean. There was Bunty, Tracy, Mandy, Judy, Nikki, Sandie, Debbie, Diana, Sally, June, Tammy, Jinty, Lindy, Penny and Misty to choose from. In fact, if you didn’t have a comic named after you then it’s more than likely that you would have been exactly the type of hard done-by but otherwise resourcful heroine that Mandy would have traded in.

Mandy was a weekly girls comic published by that stalwart of the comics industry, D.C. Thomson, who between 1967 to 1991 published no less than 1, 269 issues in total with annuals appearing from 1972 to 2007. It contained the usual mix of serialised stories, some comedic but usually about tragic heroines, often focussing on the adventures of downtrodden gymnasts, orphaned Olympic divers or resolute show-jumpers over-coming all sorts of adversity such as selfish aunts and uncles, loss of memory, homelessness, arrests, cheating rivals, blackmail, injuries or beloved animals threatened with death. Two of the most popular stories included Angel, about a girl who dedicates herself to caring for orphaned children in Victorian London after discovering that she's dying, and Jenna on the Run, about a young gypsy girl trained in athletics by a blind duchess. Now, obviously I would never have been caught reading a copy (it states very clearly on the cover that Mandy was for girls, and it's true, I never was caught reading a copy) but I seem to remember coming across a copy in a doctor's waiting room, perhaps, that featured a story called The Sorrows of Laughing Anne, in which a young girl unknowingly laughs at a witch and is subjected to a spell being put on her which results in her being given a loud, hideous, uncontrollable witch's cackle that is always getting her into trouble. It finally gets to the point where Anne's father decides to send her away, so Anne must act fast to get the spell lifted!

Corking stuff, I’m sure you’ll agree.

The 1973 Christmas annual, a snip at 50 p (Britain had just gone metric, otherwise it would have cost 10 shillings), featured articles about cooking on a range (The Farmer Wants A Wife), the adventures of the immortal Valda – a mysterious girl who gained long lasting life, youth and powers from the fire of life - and a rather heart-warming story about 2 slave girls doing good turns.

Sadly it merged comic with Judy in 1991, until the two of them merged with Bunty in 1995 before ceasing publication completely in 2001. And that was the end of that. These days young girls have to read magazines about what make-up tips will guarantee them a night with One Direction or something, I don't know. They certainly don't turn up in doctor's waiting rooms anymore.

DISEASES CAUSED BY MASTURBATION

I thought I’d try something a bit different this week and showcase some of the less popular books available at the Toytown Library.

This book, for example, is not as popular as it used to be. It was originally written in 1760 by Dr. Samuel-August Tissot, a well reputed Calvinist Protestant neurologist, physician, professor and Vatican adviser (no surprises there, of course). Originally published under the far less eye-catching title of L'Onanisme, Tissot argued that semen was an "essential oil" and "stimulus" that, when lost from the body in great amounts, would cause "a perceptible reduction of strength, of memory and even of reason; blurred vision, all the nervous disorders, all types of gout and rheumatism, weakening of the organs of generation, blood in the urine, disturbance of the appetite, headaches and a great number of other disorders."

However, a recent borrower fairly bounced into the library to return the book denying the validity of many of the books premises –“ My eyesight has actually improved!”, he exclaimed. “There's an extra bounce in my step, a genuine smile on my face, and my handshake has more exuberance and firmness to it than ever before, not "effeminate, idle, and weak" as it should be”.

Not recommend to anyone hoping to gain disability benefits.

THE BEANO ANNUAL 1974

So far I’ve been concentrating on TV shows that produced an annual to cash in on the show’s popularity, but for me nothing spoke of Christmas so much as the Beano annual which, I understand, celebrates its 77th birthday, as it were, this year. Once the presents were opened, the wrapping paper magically tidied away and the toys more or less discarded or broken, you’d find me tucked away in a quiet corner working my way through a chocolate bar that came in one of those bumper Christmas packs of your favourite chocolate treats (not dissimilar to pack pictured below, although if memory serves correctly, they were supposed to come in one of those netted Christmas stockings from Woolworths) and catching up with my favourite Beano characters - Dennis the Menace and Gnasher, the Bash Street Kids, Minnie the Minx, Lord Snooty, Little Plum and all the other Beano regulars that appeared in the legendary weekly comic. 

Have you seen how The Beano has repositioned itself these days? Completely devoid of charm (Biffo is long gone for a start), it’s all fart jokes and no one receives six of the best from a well-worn slipper to reinforce the difference between right and wrong, relying instead on irony to provide lessons in good behaviour (like that ever works – right, kids?).

From 1942 to 1949 the annual was actually called "The Magic-Beano Book", which referred to the short-lived Magic Comic that had ceased publication in 1941 due to the Second World War's paper rationing. The name reverted to the original title of "The Beano Book" in 1950 - turns out it was never actually called "The Beano Annual" until 2002.

This 1974 annual cost 55p and remains the gift that keeps giving.