DISEASES CAUSED BY MASTURBATION

I thought I’d try something a bit different this week and showcase some of the less popular books available at the Toytown Library.

This book, for example, is not as popular as it used to be. It was originally written in 1760 by Dr. Samuel-August Tissot, a well reputed Calvinist Protestant neurologist, physician, professor and Vatican adviser (no surprises there, of course). Originally published under the far less eye-catching title of L'Onanisme, Tissot argued that semen was an "essential oil" and "stimulus" that, when lost from the body in great amounts, would cause "a perceptible reduction of strength, of memory and even of reason; blurred vision, all the nervous disorders, all types of gout and rheumatism, weakening of the organs of generation, blood in the urine, disturbance of the appetite, headaches and a great number of other disorders."

However, a recent borrower fairly bounced into the library to return the book denying the validity of many of the books premises –“ My eyesight has actually improved!”, he exclaimed. “There's an extra bounce in my step, a genuine smile on my face, and my handshake has more exuberance and firmness to it than ever before, not "effeminate, idle, and weak" as it should be”.

Not recommend to anyone hoping to gain disability benefits.